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A Traffic Light and a Smile
I had just gotten a haircut and was crossing the street in Manhattan when I noticed an older man step off the curb, hesitate, and then retreat as the light changed. I couldn’t resist joking with him: “Pedestrians always have the right-of-way. Are you feeling lucky?”
He laughed, then told me about the dangers of e-scooters. As a professor of engineering, he explained, he knew something about risk.
The whole exchange lasted no more than a traffic light cycle. We crossed together, then went our separate ways. But we both left with something extra – a small spark of happiness.
As I walked away, I thought to myself, That’ll be me one day, maybe sooner than I expect. It wasn’t just a funny street corner encounter. It was a reminder that happiness doesn’t always come from big achievements or perfectly planned events. Sometimes, it sneaks in through small, overlooked moments – the kind we barely notice, but carry with us long after.
This is about those moments. The ones that might seem ordinary on the surface but hold extraordinary power if we pay attention.
Big and Little Happiness
When people talk about happiness, they often imagine life-changing events: a dream job, a perfect vacation, or reaching a long-awaited goal. Those moments matter, of course, but they are rare.
If happiness only came from big milestones, we’d spend most of our lives waiting. But we can harvest happiness regularly from the little things — shaving in the morning, a subway ride, a walk after dinner.
The secret is noticing them.
Joy vs. Happiness: What’s the Difference?
It’s worth pausing to ask – what’s the difference between joy and happiness?
- Happiness often comes from moments of satisfaction or contentment. It’s a sense of well-being that can be tied to circumstances, like finishing a task, sharing a laugh, or savoring a ritual.
- Joy, on the other hand, tends to feel deeper and more transcendent. Joy often arises suddenly, sometimes without clear reason. It can feel like a spark that lifts you out of the ordinary – what I like to call micro-joys, the tiny, unexpected moments that light up your life.
This article is focused on happiness, the steady thread woven through daily life. But if you’d like to explore joy – especially those fleeting, magical bursts I call micro-joys – you can check out my blog post here: Micro-Joy: The Precious Moments That Light Up Your Life.
1. Happiness in Daily Rituals
Happiness isn’t always about chasing something new. Sometimes it’s hidden inside the routines we repeat, over and over, without thinking. For me, one of those routines is shaving.
I don’t use a quick cartridge razor. I shave the old-fashioned way – with an adjustable safety razor, a shaving brush, and a sandalwood cream that smells warm and grounding. It takes me ten or fifteen minutes, which is much slower than most people spend in front of the mirror. But that’s part of the joy. If I rush, I’ll nick myself. So I have to be present, intentional, and focused.
When I finish, there’s this small but undeniable satisfaction. My skin feels smooth, soft, and free of razor burn. I know the feeling will last only a day or two before I have to start again, but that’s what makes it meaningful. It’s temporary, fleeting, and worth the effort every single time.
Sometimes people notice me with stubble and say, “You’re growing a beard.” I laugh to myself, because technically, I’m always growing a beard. What I’m really doing is no longer shaving. There’s happiness even in that tiny shift of perspective – recognizing that what feels ordinary is part of the natural order of things.
Happiness in routines is about turning autopilot into awareness. Ask yourself:
- Where in your day are you rushing through something that could be a mindful ritual?
- What small sensory details (smell, touch, sound) could you slow down to notice?
2. Happiness Through a Child’s Eyes
One of the gifts of parenting is being reminded how children see the world. They don’t filter their observations the way adults do, and sometimes, that leads to moments of hilarity that live on for years.
When my son was very young, we used to watch a show called Handy Manny. There was a character with a very obvious comb-over (Mr. Lopart), and we’d laugh every time he appeared on screen. It became our private little inside joke.
One day, while riding a packed New York City subway, I picked him up so he could see above the crowd. The car was silent, as it often is, even though it was shoulder-to-shoulder with people. Suddenly, across the car, he spotted a balding man with a comb-over. Without hesitation, he pointed straight at him and shouted at the top of his lungs:
“Look Dad, A COMB-OVER!”
The entire car turned their heads in unison, like a scene in slow motion. And yes, the man did in fact have one of the most impressive comb-overs I’ve ever seen. I was mortified in the moment, but even as my cheeks burned, I knew it was one of those stories that would stick.
And it has. We still laugh about it today. It’s a reminder that happiness often comes from the unfiltered honesty of a child – the way they say what we’re all thinking, and the way they can turn an ordinary subway ride into a family legend.
Children model presence and honesty. You don’t need to embarrass yourself in public, but you can ask:
- Where could I approach life with more curiosity, like a child would?
- What would it look like to laugh at the obvious, instead of worrying about appearances?
3. Happiness Hidden in Chores
Most people don’t put “laundry day” and “happiness” in the same sentence. Chores usually fall into the category of things we have to do, not things we look forward to. But sometimes, even the most mundane tasks can turn into moments of laughter, learning, and connection.
As I write this, I’m actually doing laundry with my son, who’s getting ready to head off to college. It’s one of those practical life skills he’ll need to master soon enough. We had just pulled the clothes from the washer when we discovered that my wife had accidentally left a tissue in the pocket of her running shorts. She’s been getting over a cold, and that tissue basically exploded into a thousand little pieces, covering every single piece of clothing in the load.
At first, my son and I just looked at each other with that “you’ve got to be kidding me” face. But soon it turned into laughter. We shook out the clothes, brushed off the stubborn bits, and grabbed a broom to sweep up the mess. What could have been a moment of annoyance turned into a story we’ll both remember.
In the process, my son learned a valuable lesson about checking pockets before doing the wash. And I picked up one too – that sometimes it’s better to “let things come out in the wash”, rather than trying to overprepare. Life, like laundry, can get messy. But happiness often shows up when we stop fighting the mess and instead choose to find the humor in it.
4. Happiness in Small Connections
Not every moment of happiness needs words. Sometimes it’s as simple as an exchange of energy, a smile, or even a dance move.
A few weeks ago, I was jogging in Central Park when I noticed a woman from the parks department standing outside her electric car. The door was open, the radio was playing, and she was dancing. As I jogged closer, she caught my eye, raised her hands, and gave me a little move.
So I gave one back.
We both smiled, she kept on dancing, and I kept on jogging. Nothing more, nothing less. A fleeting moment of connection that left me lighter for the rest of the run.
I love New York for moments like that – where complete strangers can share a spark of happiness without saying a word.
5. Happiness in Nature’s Surprises
Sometimes happiness shows up when the world itself changes around us.
The other day, I went to dinner with my family on one of those sticky New York evenings where the heat and humidity make it hard to think straight. While we were eating, a massive thunderstorm rolled through. By the time we finished and stepped outside, the air had changed completely. The heaviness was gone, the temperature had dropped, and it felt almost like a new season.
We walked down to the East River promenade, and that’s when we saw it – a rainbow arched across the sky over Brooklyn and Queens. The clouds were still dark in patches, but sunlight was streaming through breaks of perfect blue. We stopped, just stood there together, and took it in.
It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t on the calendar, it wasn’t something we could recreate. But for a few minutes, we were caught in that rare, in-between place where the storm has passed but the beauty hasn’t faded. Happiness was right there in front of us, in the sky above, in the company beside us.
The Common Thread
Looking back, each of these stories shares something in common:
- They weren’t planned.
- They were fleeting.
- They required me to notice.
Happiness isn’t always about chasing. It’s about catching what’s already there.
Practical Ways to Notice More Happiness
If you want to find happiness in overlooked moments, try these simple practices:
- Pause daily rituals. Instead of rushing through coffee, shaving, or cooking, give yourself 5 extra minutes to be present.
- Laugh at the mess. Chores will always exist. What if you reframed them as chances for connection or humor?
- Borrow a child’s eyes. Notice the obvious. Call out what makes you smile.
- Connect with strangers. Share a smile, a nod, or even a dance move.
- Step outside. After storms or sunsets, pause. Let nature remind you what’s bigger than your to-do list.
Happiness doesn’t have to be extraordinary. It hides in the ordinary – waiting for you to notice.
Choosing Happiness Now
When I think back on my happiest moments, it’s not always the big milestones I remember. It’s the laughter in a subway car, the sandalwood scent of shaving cream, a tissue-covered load of laundry, a rainbow after dinner.
Happiness isn’t something far away. It’s here, now, in the details we usually overlook.
Your turn: What’s one small, ordinary moment you can notice today that might hold happiness?
And if you’d like to explore how to bring more of these overlooked joys into your daily life, I’d love to connect. Coaching is about discovering the choices and perspectives that create fulfillment, purpose, and presence in the moments that matter.
Further Reading & References
Lyubomirsky, Sonja. The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want.
On my blog: Micro-Joy: The Precious Moments That Light Up Your Life.
A Note From Your NYC Personal Life Coach, Whenever You’re Ready
If something here resonated and you’d like support as you sort through what comes next, I’m here. I’m an online life coach based in New York City, working with people across the United States on mindset, clarity, and joyful personal growth.
Reach me anytime at [email protected].
We can start with a short consultation to help you get clear on one meaningful next step.