Another Week
Table of Contents
The Thread This Week: Tension
The thread running through my experiences this week was tension, and that’s not a bad thing.
A few images come to mind when I think about tension. A high wire. A balloon.
If a high wire has too much tension, it can snap. Not enough, and balancing becomes nearly impossible. The tension is what makes stability possible.
Overfill a balloon and BANG! Catastrophic failure. A deflated balloon isn’t much fun either. Fill it just right, and you’re ready to have a party.
Tension shows up everywhere. You can feel it when you press on something and there’s some spring, some bounce. There’s wisdom in resistance. It’s the tension that provides support and helps you jump higher.
This week, I’ve been trying to notice the tension rather than eliminate it. When I accept it, my attention shifts to different questions:
- What about this tension is useful?
- Is it the right amount?
- If I lean into it or push off from it, where might it take me?
Starting to Post on Substack
Substack is my next frontier in personal and business development. I’m a beginner. Practically invisible.
Some of the tension I felt this week came from learning a new platform and starting a new practice:
- Figuring out whether I’m writing primarily for myself or for others (audience)
- Wanting to be seen and being afraid of being seen at the same time (visibility)
- Knowing when enough is enough: writing and editing versus publishing (fortitude)
Stepping into this tension reinforced a few things for me: valuing myself, valuing others, and the importance of taking action even when emotions pull in opposite directions.
I’m still experimenting with what I want to say and how I want to say it. I haven’t figured it out yet. That’s okay for now.
Practice. Reflect. Iterate.
Closing with a Client
I had a session this week where the central question was, “Is coaching still right for me?”
As a business owner, of course I want to keep my clients. I enjoy working with them. As a coach, though, my primary question is always: What serves this client best? Sometimes the honest answer is that it’s time to move on.
When learning has been integrated, when dependency starts to form, or when a different kind of support is needed (e.g. skill development or therapy) those can be signs that a new chapter is beginning.
We explored different futures, with and without coaching. We ultimately co-designed a pause, independent accountability, and a future check-in.
Reflecting on that session, I noticed my own internal struggle. The pull of wanting two things moving in opposite directions. I relied on my values and ethics to navigate it.
I think of this kind of tension as stewardship or graduation. I’m not owning the client. I’m holding space, knowing there will come a time to let go.
Interestingly, this is the same flavor of tension I feel with my college-aged children. I’m learning to shift from manager to mentor. Roots and wings. Roots to ground them. Wings so they can fly.
Un-Niched
This week also continued my exploration of resistance to being boxed in or defined; to niching down.
From a business perspective, the advice is clear: pick a niche. It helps with clarity, visibility, and growth. I understand that.
At the same time, I believe fulfillment is multi-faceted. None of us are just one thing.
I spent too many years being defined by a single role. I’m still exploring.
I’m not ready to pick a lane. I recognize that this wandering may slow business growth. For now, I’m choosing wholeness over definition.
The technical term might be dialectical holism. For now, I prefer un-niched.
Closing Thoughts
There’s even tension in experiencing tension. Part of me wants resolution and relief. Another part knows the discomfort is where the learning happens.
If you notice yourself feeling torn, here’s a gentle question to sit with:
- What’s important about the tension in this situation?
A Small Note
I think of these experiences like refilling a pillbox. Each one is a vitamin I take to stay healthy. And when I fill it, I repeat a small mantra I’ve been saying for years:
Another week.
This week, I’m putting these vitamins into my pillbox:
- Empathy: for myself and others
- Action: in the presence of conflicting emotions
- Stewardship: honoring and supporting others’ autonomy
- Wholeness: respecting the interconnected parts of myself
And paying attention to the dosage.